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Weekend Dad, Weak End Son

Dear you, the man who schedules in our son. Do you dare to call yourself a dad on the days that he is with me? On the multiple days of the month when you shy from your responsibility? Do you dare to call yourself a dad in between your planned weekends? I’m asking on behalf…

Care Kid – Part III

I didn’t plan to have such a long break away from blogging – the days between my last post and this one have rolled into weeks without a moment to myself. My original ambition was to blog at least a couple of times a month, but I’ve come to realise that my life as it…

Motherless Mum

“There is an emptiness inside of me — a void that will never be filled. No one in your life will ever love you as your mother does. There is no love as pure, unconditional and strong as a mother’s love. And I will never be loved that way again.”  – Hope Edelman – As Mother’s…

Care Kid – Part II

“As a child I felt myself to be alone, and I am still, because I know things and must hint at things which others apparently know nothing of, and for the most part do not want to know”    -Carl Jung- The first months I spent in care felt like being trapped in an episode of…

Care Kid – Part I

Knowing your own darkness is the best method for dealing with the darknesses of other people. -Carl Jung- An honest account of my experience of the UK care system: I remember the first time I had ever been outside of social services. I was around seven years old and my mum shoved me into her car before driving to the local…

Drowning

Understanding grief is hard until you experience it for yourself. Can you imagine pain so heavy it pulls you so far underwater that no matter how long and hard you swim, you still cannot break the surface? That is what loss does to you, it weighs you down. Sometimes it’s gradual, as a life ebbs away and…

Losing Myself to Motherhood

Nearly ten years in on this journey called motherhood and this is one of the most important lessons I have learnt; Becoming a mum does not mean one must lose oneself. What does that even mean? How could you possibly lose yourself? Well the reality is you can and you do. As any parent will…